An Anxious Desire
by culpaeros
Summary: Shizuo/Mikado; established relationship; Sometimes a person can never really be prepared for their 'first time' with the person they care for. One-Shot


**Title**: An Anxious Desire  
**Fandom:** Durarara!  
**Pairing: **Shizuo/Mikado  
**Rating: **M  
**Prompt: **Awkward virgins~ hehe.  
**Notes:** I wrote this a while ago as a birthday gift for my good friend deecherrywolf and thought I'd finally upload here. If you haven't yet I highly recommend everyone check out her Durarara fic's over on LJ! I adore nearly every last one of them!

**Disclaimer**_: I own none of these characters!_

**Note: **THIS STORY CONTAINS MALExMALE RELATIONSHIPS

* * *

They had agreed that should the time come in which they would ever want to do more than simply kiss or touch each other that they would simply let it happen. Wing it, if you will. But that didn't mean both of them didn't in some way explore on their own. After all, Mikado had the vast and unlimited resource of the internet, its uses employed late at night after he and his boyfriend finished their discourse for the night and the high-schooler was allowed to 'finish his homework' alone. At first it was somewhat embarrassing reading and watching all the indecent things that he did on there, a feeling that only worsened when Kanra suddenly messaged him and was able to deduce why it was that the teenage male didn't want to talk at that moment. But, despite how mortifying it had gotten and how the raven haired male was never able to live that night down again, at the same time he felt as though it was worth it since surely, _surely_, his boyfriend was experienced…right? He must have…slept with others… Since… even though the blond couldn't see the positive attributes that resided inside himself others could. There must have been some girl or guy in the past who had been able to pull the male into bed with them.

_Someone_…

"mmf…"

It was starting the same as it always did. It was a Saturday night, there was no need for Mikado to leave early or rest up for school. Homework was all finished on Friday, the studious male always preferring to finish early so he could spend the rest of the weekend with the ones he wanted to.

Like tonight with his boyfriend Heiwajima Shizuo.

"Sh-Shizuo w-wait…"

Face flushed red, Mikado's gentle hands pushed slightly upon the blond's shoulder in a request to sit up. The high schooler was at that time strewn across the ex bartender's couch where he had fallen when their make out session in the middle of one of Kasuka's movies had become too heated.

The blond retreated, hand sliding out from beneath Mikado's shirt so that emotional mocha eyes could stare down at him.

With those blue sunglasses placed upon the nearby table the raven seemed to pause for a moment, infatuated with what could be seen in those orbs when they were removed. It wasn't often that the blond took them off, in fact sometimes Mikado had to coax him into doing it. But that was the way their relationship worked. Shizuo had many walls that needed to be taken down and Mikado had many insecurities that needed fixing. They understood each other and worked to help them become stronger.

"Sorry…"

Shizuo never spoke much. He always preferred listening. It was another thing Mikado had to coax out of him. Yet everytime he did speak each and every word seemed to echo volumes. For example, in such a simple apology, despite the monotonous tone in which it was spoken, Mikado could hear the reluctance, the passion that Shizuo was feeling, and simultaneously his worry that he had pushed the young male too far.

"No its alright!" Mikado spoke too fast. A blond eyebrow was arched in reply as timid digits wrapped themselves in Shizuo's white shirt, his bartending vest already upon the back of the couch.

"Its just I-…"

A pause was given as Mikado chewed anxiously upon his bottom lip. As if to offer him more confidence Shizuo's head ducked down to begin sucking upon an already bruised neck. By now the ex bartender was well aware of which spots were sensitive from Mikado's chest and up. They had certainly explored those area's enough. A small whine slipped out as the bruise was deepened and Mikado was forced to tug at Shizuo's undone bowtie to ask him to allow the student to focus upon what he wanted to say.

"I want…"

More lip chewing, anxious eyes darting slightly before the young male was sitting up upon his knee's so that his lips could reach Shizuo's ears. "Can we move…to the bedroom?" The words were whispered so lowly that it was a wonder how the blond was still able to discern them. Yet understand he did as those mocha eyes widened and turned to look at Mikado. Silence enveloped them for a moment before the older male's arms were suddenly wrapping around the students slim waist. "You sure?" A fearful nod was given and then Shizuo's lips were upon his again. The raven instantly relaxed into the wet embrace, allowing Shizuo's mouth to distract him from what was to come until quite suddenly the ground was vanishing from beneath him.

Mikado gave a light squeak before his legs were wrapping around Shizuo's waist and the male was carrying him into the bedroom. He was quickly deposited upon the bed and silence fell once more as two red faces stared at one another.

And it was as Shizuo began to come down, face flushed and eyes slightly panicking that Mikado began to realize…that… the blond was in the same boat as him.

Strong hands were for once unsure as Mikado's shirt and hoodie were removed. A knee was placed upon the bed and when Mikado's own timid hands reached to unbutton Shizuo's shirt the limb slipped and the blond was at risk of crushing the smaller male.

The flush on both their faces spread and in an attempt to hide this Shizuo ducked down to begin kissing Mikado once more. It was familiar, it was something they both could do. For a moment they allowed themselves to get lost in the kisses, Mikado well aware that his lips were probably bruised by this point no matter how much Shizuo tried to hold back.

But despite his nervousness there was also a sense of…happiness that settled within Mikado at the thought that Shizuo had no more experience than Mikado. That they could learn, and figure their way out around this together.

Without realizing it Shizuo's hand fell to finger briefly at the button on Mikado's jeans. The raven haired male stiffened as the button was undone and the hand slid into his pants. Shizuo pulled away for a moment, expression unsure as his fingers began to rub and stroke the cock hidden in there.

"nnngh…"

Mikado's face flushed anew more due to Shizuo watching him like that rather than how his body began to react to his boyfriends touch. A hand was lifted to his lips, an attempt to both block out the noise and to block out the red only for Shizuo to quickly remove it. The sharp look he gives the smaller male hints at his wanting to know if he was doing it right and Mikado knows the best way for that to happen is for the blond to be able to hear him.

No matter how embarrassing it is….

"a-aaah…"

Mikado's pants began to ride down to his knee's as Shizuo leaned over him, forcing the smaller male to move backwards and down until he was flat upon the bed. The red on his face had spread down to his chest, the color a stark contrast to his otherwise pale skin. Shizuo's own mouth was agape as he gazed down at the view, attempting to burn the image of Mikado into his retina's before his mouth returned to that long thin neck.

Familiar…it was familiar…at least…it seemed to be familiar…

Until Shizuo's head dipped too low and his mouth found its way to a tender nipple.

"_Ah_!"

Mikado's hand clamped once more over his mouth in surprise at the noise he made when Shizuo suddenly licked the nub. Both males froze for a moment, processing this reaction before suddenly Shizuo was focused solely upon the nipple – licking and sucking it as though it was Mikado's mouth – and causing the young male to shudder and writhe as the blond's hand also began to increase in speed. Mind blank and not knowing what else to do Mikado clinged to Shizuo, his hips giving small thrusts into the others hand until finally the ministrations became too much. With a small moan the raven finally came, the release soaking through his boxers and the male practically clutching to his boyfriend as if scared the pleasure will wash him away.

Shizuo gives the nipple one last lick before he's pulling away so that Mocha eyes can view the spent male. Small chest heaving Mikado's eyes were closed and his body was limp. If it weren't for the fact that he seemed to sense Shizuo's worry as to whether or not he had done any of that right he probably wouldn't have even had enough strength or energy to offer the small timid smile.

A smile that quickly vanished as Shizuo's pants were removed and a rather large cock was shown through the outline in his boxers.

But Shizuo didn't seem to notice Mikado's worry, instead pulling the hard length out of his boxers before leaning back over to try and kiss the raven. But Mikado was barely receptive, his poor heart hammering within his chest.

Shizuo was _huge_

So much bigger than any of the people he had seen online!

Oh god, it couldn't _fit_

No

No _way_

That was _NOT _going to fit _inside _of him.

But judging from the way Shizuo was urgently kissing him and preparing for the next step of locating the lube he had bought and hidden somewhere in his apartment Mikado knew the blond was going to try.

So, before he could fall into a full blown panic Mikado placed his hand on Shizuo's shoulder and slowly applied pressure until finally the blond backed away.

There was a brief shuffle then as Mikado moved out from beneath Shizuo, pulling the ex bartender with him as the student fell onto his knee's beside the bed. Shizuo's face was confused and at first he tried to follow before Mikado choked out a stammered 'w-wait' and was able to force him to remain sitting upon the bed.

Eyes fearful he gazed at the hard cock throbbing before him with a relunctance only a true virgin could wear. However this, the raven figured, was a suitable compromise (maybe) until he could overcome the fear of what that cock could do to his insides.

Tentatively reaching forward Mikado took a hold of the length, more panicking butterflies filling his stomach at the way it seemed to react to his touch in a similar way that Mikado's had to Shizuo's. Face still fully flushed Mikado leaned slowly forward to shyly lick at the red head before pulling away to gauge the taste and Shizuo's reaction.

…Which seemed to be merely confusion as the blond tried to reach forward to help lift Mikado back up. The raven let out a small whine of protest, his hands clinging to Shizuo's thighs as he leaned back in again to kiss the large length before him. However it wasn't until Mikado was opening his mouth and sucking the head in did he seem to comprehend what was going on.

But by then it was too late.

Inexperience and insecurity made it quite possibly the worst blow job ever given. Mikado sucked and licked nervously, his technique nearly nonexistent. But it was still wet, hot suction to a cock that knew little more than Mikado's did and being given to a male who was deeply infatuated with his quiet boyfriend.

And watching that little raven head bob up and down, working to fit more of the cock in his mouth and his face becoming flushed more due to effort rather than embarrassment the sensation of fulfillment began to become stronger until suddenly the blond was pulling on Mikado's hair to get the raven off as his orgasm swept across him.

The raven fell back, narrowly avoiding the cum that jetted out. Mouth hanging, drool falling down to his chin, the young male watched with an almost pride as his boyfriend tried to get some control over himself.

Slowly Mikado lifted himself, boxer's sliding off so he could be more comfortable out of the cum stained material and fell to settle half on the bed, half on Shizuo in what could only be defined as a type of cuddle. Shizuo didn't react at first, instead simply laying back and taking a moment to catch his breath, before slowly turning so that his arm's could wrap around Mikado.

The two were silent once more and yet in that silence an entire conversation could be heard.

Mikado wasn't ready but…for that moment…the two never felt closer or happier.

"Bath?"

The blond whispered as if scared to break the ensuing silence. Mikado's fingers which had been idly doodling senseless patterns on one of Shizuo's pec's paused for a moment before he glanced up at his boyfriend.

"Together?"

A smirk - the likes of which was so animalistic, so devilish that Mikado's heart couldn't help but pound anew in desire - crossed Shizuo's face then before the blond growled lowly and roughly into his ear.

"There's a first time for everythin'."


End file.
